As the title suggests it is about the age factor, now I don’t know about you but this is something I’ve personally experienced. The pressure to move forward within a particular time frame. There is pressure to be in a relationship, date for a certain period of time, settle down and have a baby. We women in particular are typical about our age, there’s the menopause factor that we definitely like to avoid. For most of us, we just have to have had at least a baby before menopause catches up. The clock is always ticking and it will not stop but question is should the pressure get to us to a point of feeling frustrated?
Now human beings like to plan. You want to have planned every aspect in your life and I find that absolutely great, after all planning is an important aspect in management, meaning it is key in the business sector where we all want to thrive in. We want to plan how we intend to spend every single coin we earn which is something admirable but what if the plans are ambushed. It is not guaranteed that after graduating we’ll have that great job we wanted, we are not guaranteed of having a “perfect” man aka Mr right and starting a family. In most cases things actually don’t go the way we wanted and this yields frustrations.
The pressure to achieve things in order to fit in. The pressure to secure a job in your early 20s and have that financial independence. The pressure for one to be able to cater for his woman’s needs and not feel man enough yet you’re only starting life and fully dependant on your parents and it’s okay to admit and swallow in that you are dependant because you’re young, you are in your younger years, starting life in campus and trying to get the best out of your studies. There’s the pressure to finish college at a certain time, why ? Because we feel if our plan fails to go through in a certain period of time then we are regarded as failures. The time frame aspect is no different for the older guys, they just have different priorities but the feeling is the same. The man/woman wants to own his/her own home before retirement, to own certain assets within a specified period because the clock is ticking, retirement is calling, we need to feel we have achieved something at least to boost our esteems.
One thing is for sure the pressure to achieve things and to accomplish certain goals at a specified time frame is totally healthy but when does things become unhealthy and inappropriate? When one feels drained and low because of not achieving his/her own goals to the point of feeling greatly frustrated and depressed then certainly we need to rethink the whole “time frame pressure thing”. Is it really a must for one to get married? No. Is it really a must have goal to have money while still studying at the university to the point of feeling worthless? No. Do you really need to have a baby? All we really want deep inside is peace and love. What’s the point of sticking in a toxic relationship just for you to prove to the world you have a man at the said time and about to get kids at the so called “right time”, in this case your happiness is not guaranteed. What is the point of doing things the way others expect us to, just for us to feel drained and depressed at the end of the day.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t be ambitious and plan for the future, don’t get me wrong. All I’m advocating for is peace. Chill and relax, take a deep breathe then proceed. You are out there looking for employment without yielding any fruits, the feeling is awful, it lowers our self esteem, we get frustrated and feeling worthless but it’s okay to pause, encourage yourself and hope for the best. It is okay not to do things the way others want. It is absolutely healthy for one to be at her 40s and still single without a child. It is okay for you as a man to earn the little you earn, the energy we put out there will pay off. The world is cruel they say, people will get into your nerves, talk about your life, discourage you but as long as we are the ones in control of our lives then we are in perfect shape, we are okay, what natters is what an individual feels deep inside. Is it peace or frustrations? Is it happiness or fear? Pause, relax, it is never that serious, take a deep breathe and proceed in whatever you are currently working on.