- Narcissist personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings if self importance, an excessive need of admiration and lack of empathy towards other people.
Now let’s begin by defining a narcissist or rather narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) because generally it is a disorder, it is not normal or okay to be a narcissist. NPD according to Wikipedia is a personality disorder characterized by long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self importance, an excessive need of admiration and lack of empathy towards other people. Basing on the definition, at least we all have a clear picture of what characters a narcissist bears. Narcissism boils down to selfishness of the highest order at the expense of others. A narcissist does not consider other people’s feelings apart from his own.
Let’s now put it into context in real life, dating life to be precise. Ever gone to a date with someone who is so into himself/herself ? You know the kind of person who fancies talking about himself/herself throughout the whole conversation. The type of people who rarely listens or take time to listen to your side of the story or getting to know you better but rather talks about how good he/she is, his/her achievements, how handsome or beautiful he/she is, his/her great skills blablabla. If you have ticked on this one then guess you are either a narcissist or is dating a narcissist. This kind of a person comes too strong on the first date so be very careful with a person who’s so into you on the first dates. True love is nurtured into something beautiful with time.
Narcissistic victim syndrome is one who has close connection to a narcissist. Could be you are dating one, live with one or friends with one. Victims just like narcissist themselves do not actually realize they are in a toxic relationship or that they are suffering from narcissistic victim syndrome. Dating these type of guys is actually like a dream come true in the fairy tales in the beginning. Narcissists come out as romantic, ‘know what one needs without even asking’ type of guys, understanding etc,in the beginning of a relationship then gradually change in the course of the relationship. Now I get you’d throw stones at me and come to their defense by trying to defend their actions as being confident. “My man is just confident that’s all, no big deal” a lady can come as strongly defensive on this sensitive topic and I get it, who would want to admit that their partner is not okay mentally ? No one, well until things get really messy then one may see the point I’m driving at.
Tip number 1, do not confuse narcissist behavior with being confident. As a confident person, do you really need to send strong statements of how great you are at the expense of other people’s feelings? Surely no. Confident people are those you even admire because they let things flow, their actions speaks for itself without requiring to throw themselves on people just for people to recognize them. Narcissists on the other hand tend to talk about how great they are, they can come out as mean with their comments to on their partners and in many occasions you’ll brush them off as “uurgghh she’s just teasing me”, but things tend to turn nasty when they pick on you constantly and compare you to his/her exes.
Narcissist are manipulative in nature, they’ll easily turn the blame on you and go all judgemental on your friends without facts, of course they do all this thinking they are right about everything. Ever tried breaking up with your partner when it becomes too toxic and he/she is in panic mode and cry their lungs out how they have changed, only to repeat the mistake over and over again. Now I am not telling you to go about pointing fingers to your partners calling them narcissists. Narcissism is usually brought about by trauma, over pampering kids to show how good they are above others (too much of something is poisonous), high expectations just to mention a few. Remember narcissism is a personality disorder and the best way you can help your loved one if he/she is willing is to visit a therapist and book a session.